Tasteless Turned Tasteful

Zucchini and eggplant. These two words are synonymous to tomatoes in my discriminating mind. They plague me with tastelessness and torment me with odd textures reminiscent of old people food. However, the French have found a brilliant way to combine these uncanny ingredients to create a supernatural dish they call ratatouille. Ratatouille is pretty much the only way to make me eat all three of my least favorite ingredients, the zucchini, eggplant and the tomato. But the combination of these three ingredients with the addition of red bell peppers and onions creates a melt in your mouth sort of provencal dish I'd like to eat everyday. I'd rather not make it everyday because it's labor intensive and requires a little too much tender love and care I can give in these chaotic times. So here's a little secret. You just make a very huge batch and reheat it everytime you feel the urge.

Ratatouille

FOR 8-10

INGREDIENTS:

2 onions

2 large red bell peppers

2 zucchinis

1 eggplant

5 tomatoes

5 garlic cloves, crushed

Thyme

Salt, sugar and freshly ground pepper

PREPARATION:

Roughly chop all veggies in the same size. Heat some EVOO in a large pot and saute onions and garlic without browning. Add chopped tomatoes and thyme and let stew. In another saute pan, add more oil and cook the peppers. About 10 minutes. Add peppers to the tomato and onion mixture. Clean the pot and repeat with eggplant and then zucchini. Season with salt and pepper and a little bit of sugar. The sugar adds a little something i feel.

Babbo's Basic Tomato Sauce

Tomatoes are definitely on the top of my least favorites list. Probably cause it's really good for your body with all the lycopene and riboflavin. But I do love ketchup. So tomatoes can't be all that awful, right? Cooked tomatoes are definitely bearable. I like to focus my cooking on French food most of the time because in my opinion, it's by far superior to Italian with all the fun cream and butter sauces. And the French also invented foie gras. Sick bastards. I give them mad respek for their deranged culinary methods. Anyways, the other day I thought I'd stop watching reruns of the Family Guy and do something productive like reading. So I stopped by the nearest Barnes&Noble, which is still far, like 2 metro stops far. And I took myself straight to the cookbook section and bought the first book with the most pictures that made my mouth water. Pictures are key. Cookbooks without pictures for every recipe should be burned. But what do I know. I'm just a humble amateur blogger. My opinions don't really matter.

So I bought the Babbo cookbook and went right to work. I had to make another trip out to Whole Foods once I got home, which was pretty annoying but I did it. Picked up the ingredients and lugged it home on the metro. I like to call the subway, metro. It sounds more chic. And I like chic. I followed the instructions almost exactly for the basic tomato sauce on page 220 of the book and the taste was superb. Although, next time, I might get crazy and puree the chunky sauce with a hand mixer. Below is the picture of the sauce. I'm not the best dried pasta cooker so just admire the sauce.

Babbo's Basic Tomato Sauce

Once I learn to improv on tomatoes, I'll post an original recipe. I'm not a huge fan of Mario Batali only cause there's no reason for any high caliber chef to be that rotund unless they're not really working, but this sauce was pretty delish. I'd probably give Babbo the three Michelin star rating Mario thought he was entitled to way back yonder with just this tomato sauce alone. After all, he looks like the Michelin guy. He deserves the three stars.

MAKES A LOT

INGREDIENTS:

1 onion, chopped fine

1/2 carrot, shredded very fine

4 cloves of garlic, chopped fine

2 28oz. canned whole peeled tomatoes (I like San Marzano)

Fresh Thyme

Salt and freshly ground pepper

PREPARATION:

Heat some EVOO in a pan. Add garlic and onions and saute until very soft. Add carrots. Saute about 5 minutes. Crush the tomatoes with your hands. Then add tyme and all the tomatoes to the pot/pan. Bring to a boil and then simmer till you get a rich thick consistency. Season with salt and pepper to taste. I actually added a little bit of sugar because I like my savory food a little bit sugary. I simmered for about an hour.

Carbicide Happens to Good People

The pretty princess had a friend, the ogre, coming over for dinner on new years eve. The ogre only thought the princess was a debaucherous, champagne drinking party animal so she wanted to impress him with her domestic goddessness. The princess decided to serve her infamous lemon rosemary cream pasta and slaved over this delicious meal all day. The ogre came pounding on the door and as she told him the menu, he freaked out. He didn't eat carbs! But whatever, the princess still plated and once the ogre tasted the pasta, he couldn't stop eating. He ate the whole vat with extra cream sauce. The ogre then fell into a deep and troubled sleep from the carbicide he had just committed. The princess couldn't give him a true loves kiss to wake him from his deep slumber. I mean...he was an ogre! The princess had to think of her reputation. So while contemplating on ways to wake him, the princess fell asleep too! But then she was wakened by the ogre's thunderous snore. The pretty pretty princess got up, went over and slapped the ogre silly until he woke up. They both changed into their fat pants and lived happily ever after.

Lemon Rosemary Cream Pasta

The combination of flavors may sound bizarre but it's actually quite orgasmic. Take that Chef Boyardee! When seasoned just right, you should be able to taste just a hint of sour lemon and some very small hints of umami. I usually don't eat carbs because it makes me fat but I wanted to start out 2010 with extreme gluttony. So bon appetite and Happy Happy New Years! Better picture to come...

FOR 4 (2 for hogs)

INGREDIENTS:

1/2 box of Dried Linguini

Microplaned zest of 2 lemons

Big thick slices of 2 lemon peels

Big thick slices of 1 orange peel

Juice of 1 lemon

2 cups Low sodium chicken stock

2 pints of heavy heavy cream

Lots of rosemary, chopped

1 cup parmesan cheese

PREPARATION:

Bring out your fat pants. Set aside. Blanch the thick lemon and orange peels. 2 or 3 times depending on your level of motivation. Add chicken stock with blanched peels and reduce on high heat for about 5 minutes. Remove the peels from the stock and reduce till you have about 1/2 cup. Add the 2 pints of cream and reduce till you have slightly more than a pint of liquid left. Cook the linguini according to package directions till al dente. While the pasta is cooking, add the rosemary, lemon zest, lemon juice and cheese. Stir in the pasta immediately and serve even more immediately. If there seems to be too much sauce, don't worry. My pasta is always swimming in the sauce and it's better that way cause the noodles soak everything up. This version of the sauce is going to be pretty thick. If you're a puss and calorie count, then you can use less cream and you don't need to reduce it cause the cheese will bind everything together anyways. But you probably wouldn't be reading this blog if you calorie count...

Qu'est que c'est que Jamie aime?

It's been difficult getting my manicured hands dirty in the kitchen with so many fun holiday parties. I like parties. And I like champagne. And recently I've really enjoyed vodka gimlets. I've been delinquent about blogging in the past month, but in case someone does read this, I thought I'd write a posting about the restaurants I like in France. Yes, unusual, considering I only write about my own delicious creations because I'm so super duper in the kitchen, but I can be unpredictable. I also want to jot this down before I forget some must must go to places. The French basically only eat French food. And why shouldn't they when their cuisine is pretty much based on butter sauces and cream and truffles. There's an abundance of French restaurants, but most of them are crap. I kid you not. However, if you are reading this, you are in luck. Because I have great insight into the best restaurants, mostly in the Paris region, and I have great taste in what's good. The list below reflects my subjective opinion, but once again, I have great taste in what's good. Especially when it comes to good food.

Alain Ducasse at Hotel Plaza-Athenee

Prices are steep, but the whole experience was amazing. I worked here too, so compared to the amount of work that goes into the food, I'd say the menu is underpriced. I was pleasantly surprised by the lightness of the food and then they gave me a tour of the wine cellar. And they gave me homemade caramel to take home cause I loved it so much. The poulet de Bresse with albufera sauce was one of the best things ever and I could eat it every meal. Probably even for breakfast.

L'Ambroisie

I would think prices are steep, but I didn't pay for it so I don't know the exact damage it would do. Inside a beautiful old aristocratic urban mansion, the food was very traditional French and the service was impeccable. I give a 20 out of 10 for service. I dropped my napkin on the floor without knowing and someone came and picked it up with a fork and spoon, chopstick style and replaced it with a fresh new one. That's some service. He probably wasn't French. Anyhow, the fois gras mousse with morel mushrooms are their signature appetizer they've served for the past 25 years and I could probably eat it for breakfast. It was so yummy.

Michel Guerard at Les Pres d'Eugenie

This place is way in rural France near bordeaux. But worth the trip in my not so humble opinion. The chef still works in the kitchen and he's 78! Everything is wonderful wonderful wonderful. I'd imagine this place is what heaven is like. His signature dish is this one called the soft pillow of mushrooms and its this delicate ravioli with mushrooms and truffle with an amazing cream sauce with more morels and chanterelles and truffles. It really looks like a soft pillow and I would like to sleep in the sauce every night. This is probably my #1 pick among the gastronomic restaurants.

Auberge le Quincy

I stumbled upon this by accident cause a friend wanted to meet near the ghetto parts of Paris. I rarely travel to 2 digit arrondissement's, but I can't always be selfish or I'd have no friends. And it was soooooooo good! The place is open only 4 days a week. Tues-Fri and it's only cash or check. 2 senior citizens own the place and they are hilarious! Everything on the menu was so to my liking! It's really important to order the ice cream cause they bring you either a whole bottle of grand marnier or rum and you can drink the whole bottle for all they care. The food is more midi-pyrenees style. Could be heavy for the untrained stomach. I always take alka-seltzer afterwards and whip out my fat pants for the next week, but it is soooooooooo worth it. It was listed in a recent article in the now obliterated Gourmet magazine. The article was written by Ruth Reichl and I total gave her respek as editor in cheif after that. Booyakasha!

Evasion

Maybe one of the best bistro's ever. It's sort of in the business district so not many people know of it. It's bistro food, refined. And they might just serve the best Paris-Brest after this one pastry shop in the 7th. This place is just really really good.

Pizza Chic

They serve pretty decent pizza, but the place is just so cute and chic and the clientele is so chic and fab. I like chic and I like fabulous. I don't like pizza so much though. But still, the food is really good.

Il Corte

I once read or heard somewhere that this little italian joint was on the favorites list of 2008 chef of the year Yannick Alleno. I could be hallucinating. But it's really really quaint. It's on the same street at Hotel Costes somewhere. You enter into a very average looking Haussmanian style building and then there's a very pretty courtyard where you'd like to bring out a couple cases of champagne and have a picnic. And then you see the restaurant. The food was very traditional italian I think. Italian food isn't one of my favorites...but I do not dislike it. 

Le Comptoir de Relais Christine

I prefer going on weekends when they have the regular a la carte menu cause sometimes they serve things I'm not too fond of on the weekday prix fix. And I like to have variety and I like making my own decisions, rather than having my menu planned out for me. I also love this place cause now they have opened this place next door called Avant Comptoir so you can get little nibbles and drinks as you wait for your table. And Avant Comptoir makes these lip smacking cherry pickles. It sounds gross, but it was truly lip smackingly good. Just make sure you don't get the crazy head waitress with short hair and glasses. She's disagreable and she stresses me out everytime I see her and when she talks, she spits all over the table. It's a true French experience.

Restaurant at Hotel Amour
This place is another Costes brother enterprise. Hence the food is always consistently pretty good. But this made it to my fav list because the place is just so much fun! The clientele is a great mix of snobs and hipsters and they have a super fun menu. The only place in Paris where they serve a bacon cheeseburger with real american style bacon. And just the thought of the hotel itself is fun. If you suddenly feel the urge for some sexy time, you can go rent a room by the hour.

Ferdi
A really tiny tiny place but so fab. The clientele is an amazing mix of hipsters, artists and fashion people. The food is pretty excellent. The burger here is also good. And the ambiance is just so much fun. I once witnessed the owner kicking out some American girl for her impudence. She had no idea what was going on and I wanted to help her but I was chicken and didn't want to be the next one getting the boot. So I watched. Another fun French experience.

Le Voltaire
The food here is quite perfect. Except for the price. But I know a little secret. Just order the Oeuf Mayonnaise appetizer and some tap water. Total bill = 90 centimes. Yes. You read that right. 90 cents in euro terms or I guess its like $1.35 to be exact. You get this ginormous platter of salad with one hard boiled egg covered in mayonnaise. It really is a meal in itself. But you know if you did that, the French will get all up in your ass and swear at you in their beautiful French language, which will sound like someone's singing anyways. So don't do that. But if someone does, please let me know. I was too chicken, so got the steak tartar and it was dam good. I think it's because they used Heinz ketchup instead of the usual gross Amora brand. The food here is really quite good, but it's not one of my favorites. It only made it to my favorites list because of the Oeuf Mayonnaise. Oeuf Mayonnaise is my ultimate favorite appetizer of choice!

I'll try to do some more cooking in the next year. Happy new years and a bientot!

Great American Past Times Made Better

I once worked at Alain Ducasse in Paris and everyone in the kitchen took turns cooking dinner for the chefs. My specialty is complicated french sauces with delicately filleted white fish, but the chef told me i must make something from 'chez toi.' What the hell does that mean, right? America is just one big collection of everything else that exists in the world. Anyways, I didn't argue and question the chef. Mostly because I couldn't phrase my words in French. All the frog's in the kitchen asked if I were making hamburgers. Jerks. So I told them hotdogs. I really couldn't think of something that was typical American other than Heinz ketchup. I love love love ketchup but the French despise it. Or at least they pretend to be disgusted by it. On the big day, I said I'll be making pain de beouf, or a loaf of meat. Nobody could imagine what this weird American thing was because they were only used to eating steak frites and croque monsieurs. As I was prepping and making my meatloaf I could feel everybody lingering to watch me fail. They kept wanting to help by adding some chicken stock in the pan with the meat and rubbing some butter or oil on the loaf. The kitchen staff were even more confused when I said the loaf was served with a ketchup sauce. They asked why I wouldn't use mustard. Weirdo's. It's obvious that meatloaf wouldn't be meatloaf without ketchup. It's be a gross disgusting meatloaf. I like meatloaf because it's another excuse for me to douse my food in ketchup and not look like a complete freak. I was sweating balls by the time I finished my creation but I was confident. I'm super Jamie! Goddess of the kitchen! And also because when I asked for some beef and veal, they brought me beef and veal tenderloin. How could a meatloaf not taste good. It'd be good raw! Well, most times, meatloaf can look like spam, but I have my secrets, which I shall reveal below. In conclusion, the chef's loved it! They said they were pleasantly surprised and the sauce was amamazing. Obviously. And then everyone else wanted in on the leftovers. Here is my meatloaf I made the other day. The sauce should have gone on perpendicular to the length of the loaf...but oh well...hindsight.


Close up of the interior. I like close ups.

 

Jamie's Fantastic Meatloaf

It's really important to make tons of ketchup sauce cause everybody's going to want to drink it and also its what goes inside the loaf to season it to perfection.

FOR 8 (6 for hogs)

INGREDIENTS:
For the Loaf:
1lb ground veal
1lb ground pork
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 small carrot, finely chopped
2 small celery ribs, finely chopped
4 sliced of white bread, cut into small cubes
2 cups of whole milk
1 egg
3 tablespoons of parsley, chopped
1/2 tablespoon of fresh thyme leaves
For the Sauce:
4 cups of Heinz Ketchup
1 small onion, finely chopped
1 large red bell pepper (or 2 small), finely chopped
1 overflowing tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce
2 bay leaves
Freshly ground pepper

PREPARATION:
Make the sauce. Saute the onions and peppers in oil until soft. About 5 minutes. Add all the ketchup, bay leaves and pepper. Let simmer for about 10 minutes. If the sauce seems too thick, add a little bit of water. Let cool.

While the sauce is cooling, prepare the meat loaf. Put the cubes of bread in a big bowl with the milk and let it soak. Saute the onion, carrot and celery until very tender. Squeeze the milk out of the bread and put them n a big mixing bowl, add the sauteed veggies, meat, egg, parsley and a cup of the sauce. Get your hands dirty and mix everything.

On a baking pan, shape the meat into a nice looking loaf, baste with a little bit of the ketchup sauce and put it into a 350 degree oven for one and a half hours. Serve with lots of ketchup sauce.

Best Roasted Chicken Ever

I went spinning for the first time in 4 years a couple days ago. And almost died! But it was so worth it. I walked out at least 3 pounds lighter and was ready for a gluttonous weekend. I was dizzy and starving so I decided to roast a whole chicken for myself and scarf it down. I dropped by the closest whole foods, which is still far, picked up a 3lb chicken and other herbs and tested out my new convection oven. The oven did an okay job. I did an amazing job though. I've roasted poultry before, but this time the color was so perfect, the skin was perfectly crisp and the meat was perfectly cooked and just sooooooo juicy.

Another picture with a juicy morsel of tender breast meat

Best Roast Chicken Ever
Roasted chicken is always a crowd pleaser. But only when it's good. It's just rude to serve bad food. Chicken is one of the easiest things to make, but it's hard to make well. Also because it lacks so much flavor when cooked wrong. But this recipe should be fail proof. The meat was so moist and it was good both hot and cold.

FOR 4

INGREDIENTS:
3lb organic chicken
2 sprigs of rosemary
20 cloves of garlic
1/2 lemon
10 fingerling potatoes
Salt, pepper, butter, oil

PREPARATION:
Preheat oven to 400 (200 celcius) degrees. Clean, peel and parboil the potatoes for about 5 minutes in salted water. While the potatoes cook, clean the chicken, stuff the cavity with the rosemary, lemon and half the garlic. Tie the chicken with some kitchen string and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Drain the potatoes and put it in the baking pan with the remaining garlic. Put the chicken on top of the potatoes and garlic. rub a little bit of butter and oil and pop it in the oven for exactly 1 hour. After about 40 minutes if the chicken gets too dark, cover it with foil and continue cooking.

What do I eat when in Paris?

When I moved to Paris early last year, I read Mark Bittman's NYtimes articles on Steak Frites. He lists 5 different places and I've tried all but 1. One of the venues on the list is Relais de l'Entrocote. I went last year for the first time and the fries were amazing! BUT, they wouldn't give me any ketchup. Dam frog's. The steak was also pretty great. But it comes swimming in this green buttery sauce, which Mark Bittman describes as a tarragon herb butter sauce. Not completely true. It is and herby chicken liver sauce. You can't taste much of the liver, but there's an odd texture and color to it. I didn't like it that first time but I was able to cleanse my palate after with some profiteroles, so that was fine. I was in Paris last week and revisited Relais de l'entrocote. This time, I like the sauce even less. I liked it so little, it actually upset my stomach and I was sick all night. Being sick was awful and so painful, but the best diet EVER! I was back to my svelte body from a decade ago! I couldn't eat anything all next day and by evening time, I was starving. So what do I eat after being sick? A rare bacon cheeseburger from Hotel Amour. But I asked for a salad instead of the fries. And the salad was so delish! The next day, I tried making the salad and was totally successful!
Hotel Amour Salad

INGREDIENTS:
Salad greens (I used baby bibb lettuce type greens)
1 small red onion, sliced thin
1 large bouquet of flat leaf parsley
10 basil leaves
1 clove of garlic
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
1 tablespoon sugar
Salt and Pepper to taste

PREPARATION:
Using a hand mixer or a food processor, puree all ingredients except the salad greens. Season to taste and toss with red onions and lettuce. Add roughly cut tomatoes if you want. Serve immediately.

I'm never just satisfied with just a salad for dinner. Cause I be a hog. So I also made a fantastic herb, mustard potato salad!
Jamie's Herby Mustard Potato Salad

INGREDIENTS:
3 medium potatoes
1/2 shallot, chopped fine
4 tablespoons capers
2 tablespoons chopped parsley
1/4 cup dijon mustard
1/2 cup EVOO
Pepper

PREPARATION:
Peel the potatoes and boil until soft. While the potatoes cook prepare the herb mustard sauce. In a big bowl, mix all ingredients. When the potatoes are ready, cut them into thick round slices and mix with the mustard sauce. Serve immediately.

Korean Dinner

There are 4 places you can find good Korean food. Korea, obviously. LA LA Land, obviously, and Flushing. But there is only one place in the world where you can find amazing Korean food that's almost orgasmic. In my house, obviously. Because I'm the best cook ever and I have very good taste in good food. Before I left Paris, I invited some friends over and made some of my favorite dishes because I felt like fishing for compliments. I made some japchae, bibimbop and a spicy pork dish. I made a bunch of stuff, but once again was busy eating and forgot to take pictures of some of them.

Spicy Pork
This was just enough spicy to get some perspiration going and just so nicely caramelized because of the ground pear I added to the sauce. It got nice and sticky like a spicy bbq marinade. And it was just so very slightly sugary to offset the heat. I tried using two different cuts of pork. Shoulder cut and belly. The belly is by far superior. Cause as we all may not know, fat makes food taste exponentially better. But the shoulder cut wasn't so bad cause it's leaner and less greasy. But definitely not as much flavor. The belly has a better texture in the mouth as well with the marriage of the chewy meat and the silky fat with the caramelized outside.

Close up. I like close ups.

 

Bibimbop
I like these when its in the hot stone bowl. But since in Paris, my stove was induction, there was no way I was gona get that fancy. I also like bibimbop with a fried egg. But I was slaving all day and didn't feel like frying 6 eggs last minute. Usually, people just add some gochujang (red pepper paste) and sesame oil. But I like to make my own red pepper paste sauce with a mixture of some of my very own secret ingredients. With my secret sauce, the bibimbop is just one of the most fantastic things you'll have ever experienced.

I'll add some more of my Korean creations in the future. So check back. I haven't listed ingredients and measurements because Korean food is mostly made by guesstimation. And also because if I reveal all my cooking secrets, I won't be very special. But if you really must know my secrets, leave a comment or send me an email!

Canned Fish Can Be Good

One cold winter, the pretty pretty princess went skiing in Courchevel. The princess liked diamonds, so she followed signs to a black diamond slope. It sounded like it would be special. But oh la la la la la la...little did she know. The black diamonds were actually ominous signs! The princess fell and tumbled down the harsh slopes of the French Alps. And all she wanted was to be next to a flaming hot outdoor heater sipping on ice cold rose wine from Provence, maybe even eating a little nibble of some sort. The princess took out her mini magic mirror from her Moncler pocket and asked "magic mirror, where could I find such a place?" And the mirror replied, "a place like this exists next to the helipad my pretty pretty princess. In a wood cabin called Cap..." The princess fell face down and the mirror broke into a million little pieces before it could tell her the name of this place. The princess felt hopeless, but then she heard a loud noise over her head. It was a helicopter! Alas, she was saved. She followed the helicopter with all her might, and what do you know. A wood cabin called Cap Horn was standing right next to the helipad! There was outdoor seating with heaters and the music was pumpin'! The princess was ecstatic! She sat down and demanded immediate service. She was feeling dehydrated and really needed some rose wine. As she was waiting for her beverage, the princess was checking out the crowd and noticed the table next to her eating something from a can with such gratification. She had to know what this delicious canned good was. Because from her experience, there was nothing good coming out of a can. It was canned sardines in oil! Yuck! But she tried it anyways. The sardines came with some toast, chopped shallots, chives and butter. The princess buttered a piece of toast then topped it with a sardine, some shallots and chives. She closed her eyes and popped the dreadful looking thing into her mouth. But what a pleasant surprise this little thing...the melange of tastes were so very delightful. She couldn't stop eating and totally forgot to drink for the rest of the meal. Since then, the princess very much enjoys trying different brands of canned sardines!

Below is a sardine thang I prepared. This skinless, boneless sardine brand is Albert Menes and it was quite good. But so far, I prefer Rodel and Ramon Pena.
FOR 2 (apero)

INGREDIENTS:
1 can of skinless, boneless sardines
1/2 shallot, chopped very fine
1 tablespoon capers
Freshly ground black pepper

PREPARATION:
Arrange the sardines on a plate to your liking. Top with shallots, capers and pepper. Serve with some toast and good butter.

Cake From a Box

OH, how I love cake from a box! I know everybody secretly lurvs it but won't ever admit it. It's kinda like loving the Backstreet Boys. Everybody loves them, and knows all the lyrics, but pretends to hate em...My ultimate fav has definitely got to be the yellow cake from Betty Crocker. It's by far the most moistest brand with the little pudding sauce they give you to add into the batter. I still haven't been able to replicate that perfectly exquisite moistness. But honestly, do i really care to be able to make a cake that good from scratch? Not really. I mean...for $4 I can buy a pre-mixed cake mix that tastes better than any famous pastry chefs cake. The other day though, I wanted something chocolaty. So I got a box of Duncan Hines cake mix with Betty Crocker frosting. The cake was great but it once again confirmed my strong belief that Betty Crocker cake mix is superior.